Monday, May 14, 2007

Disposable Razor

So I hear through the grapevine, and by grapevine I mean the crazies on the bus that sometimes talk to me, that you are supposed to throw away those disposable razors after like two weeks of use. Did I not get the memo on this one? I have been using the same disposable, single blade razor for almost six months now. Yes it isn’t the closest of shaves and it is pink (I sometimes questions my masculinity while shaving, yesterday I almost threw off my towel to shave my legs..) but I don’t get razor burn or any other affliction attributed to dull razors and I am clean shaven. So what’s the deal?

My theory? Glad you asked.... It’s those damn razor people, they want people to keep buying more and more razor blades so that they can fill all the garbage dumps with the old ones, making the dumps so razor filled that the local seagull population is killed off by razors cutting up their insides. And just as people are being to wonder what happened to all the seagulls, Gillette announce the Mach 6 Robot Seagull, with precious control tourist aimed shitting.

So take the Nasty Bathroom Challenge and try shaving with a disposable for six months, you will at least be fighting off the eventual take over of Robot Seagulls.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Nasty Bath - Hooters, Las Vegas

Well it has happened, I have guilted myself into maintaining this shitty idea for a blog, so here it is, the first offical nasty bath review of a bathroom other than the one 10ft from my bed.

So some people may know that I recently got back from fab Las Vegas, NV which was filled with drinking, gambling and basically nothing else...that is all i did for four days (it's really the American way). Well, the entire time I was there, I was very happy with the facilities, from the Palace, to the New York, New York bathrooms were great. I was happy to take shits without that little paper thingy that I doubt stops the transfer of any really commited disease (I am sure it fights of stuff like herpes, but that is because herpes is so damn lazy, I'd like to have some protection device to sit on that can stop syphilis, that would be some real protection, syphilis is hard worker). This was the way it was until my Monday afternoon experience. Sunday night was a heavy drinking night and much is the ritual after a heavy drinking night is the morning release of evils as some call it. Well after getting some b-fast in me I thought I was all good, but nothing was preparing to come out and with a full day of gambling and boozing ahead of me I didn't care to spend time messing around with the shitting situation, so on we went to the casino far form the strip and from civilized latrines (I found the last part out later). We Went to the Hooters Casino.

As soon as I stepped through those glass doors it hit me like a train wreck. Run did I to the closet bathroom and upon enterting did I lose all ability to take a shit since I was busy trying to control the vomit that the smell of that facility produced. The smell was a mix of fermenting domestic beer, urine of some that just drank puree aspragus, and of course the classic fecal matter smell that comes standard with the poor ventelation package in nasty baths. Of course, the florescent lights barley worked, their flicker cast a dim shadows over everything include the pieces of used toilet paper, a condom wrapper (why would anyone have sex in here?!) and dried pools of unrine. That is about as far as I got, I looked at the clogged sink, the trash bin overflowing and said to myself "I'd rather be constipated." The one thing great about that bathroom is that it worked as a natural crap stopper and allowed me to be functional enough to get to another hotel. Not to worry readers (or reader, I don't know), I did find a great facility at the MGM grand, gotta love those lions!

Yeah so that is about it for Vegas, avoid the Hooters Bathroom that is about all I got on that.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Holy Crap a Podcast!

Let's see if this bad boy works....

Podcast Baby!

Monday, March 5, 2007

My "Home" the Beginning of it All....

The blog name says it all folks. It has been a long interest of mine to try and brave those bathrooms that are truely disgusting and a testement to what man will endure for a few moments relief, or maybe I am just a little off. Anything is possible. Anyways, that is how the idea of Nasty Bathroom was born. When I think of a nasty bathroom I don't think of something that is intentional, I instead think of something that is a result of a general societal neglect or the destruction of time and small actions by many people (mostly teenager, damn kids).

Let me put this in context to better explain. Here are pictures of my bathroom at my "house." (this isn't my home and I share this place with many other people). Here is the prime case of neglegence on societies part.

Notice the toilet. It has urine that is probaby very old. Also not the placement of a runner rug in the bathroom. What is the point of this? Something to soak up more urine when those inconsiderate members of our crumbling society miss the toilet? I think so. This part of the bathroom has digressed into a breeding ground that is only good for proving that if something in this bathroom doesn't kill you, it hopefully makes you stronger (I no longer have anything to fear from AIDS). Now let's move onto the smell.(side note) I know that my bathroom isn't the worst and I encourage you to tell your stories of bad bathrooms to show me what is the worst. But someone has to start it right?(end sidenote)

Alright, back to the bathroom. This part we can see the sink that has a collection of hair that is enough to clone at least three of my housemates, many times over, but that is not the most important thing. Inside the trash can is the real problem. I didn't take a picture of the inside of the trash because I do not enjoy tasting my food coming up through the stomach (thank God, pictures don't smell, otherwise I would not infect the internet with this). Anyways, many of my housemates have differnet purposes for this one tiny, un-liner filled trash can. For example one uses to dispose of his strange food stuff, leftover from his eating in his room. Its bad enough that the entire house is infected with the smell of dead sunk when he cooks, yet we still must endure the smell many months past in the trash. Another uses it to dispose an inordinate amount of toilet paper, and yes I know that toilet paper is for the toilet, but hey this is American dammit, you can do what you want! Anyways, this mixture has created a smell that hits of death with a twist of mint (oddly yes, mint). In fact, the smell of it is so terrible I fear I will never eat mint chip ice cream again... Why doesn't anyone empty it? Well I thought of that, and I fear that it has gotten to the point that being that close to the trash could cause cancer. So it grows and becomes something new, maybe we can patent it...

Alright, so now that you are throughly annoyed at me for posting this obviously wierd stuff on the internet, I will now say that this is only the start. I think that my mission to expose society is not just about bathrooms its about everything. So get ready world cause if I don't get really really lazy after this post I might post about other stuff too.